Dorm Room Confessional


While my roommate was in class,

I felt a yearning for some ass.

So I took out my box of grass

And I called up Joanna Cass


“I’ll come right over, babe” she said

“So go ahead and make the bed”

Everyone knew she was a whore

“All right!” I thought, “I’m gonna score!”


But when she got here, she was crying

“What’s up girl?” “Oh god, Billy, I’m dying!”
”Huh? Stop kidding.” “I’m not lying!”
”I caught something, there's no denying!”


“Shit girl, what you gonna do?”

“I don’t know! I have no clue!”

“I’ve been a sinner, I can’t die now!”

“Well, I’ll help you if you tell me how.”


“Listen, I gotta repent on the double!”

With that, I knew I was in trouble

She started ranting about her life

“Goddamn,” I thought, “It’s like she’s my wife”


She was just getting more distraught

“Hold up girl… what is it you caught?”

“Crabs,” she said, “Those kill you, right??”

“Bitch, get the fuck out of my sight!”